Werewolves - Encyclopedia Dramatica (2024)

No matter how much they may bitch and moan - dragons, gryphons, vampires and other mythical creatures don't exist. But werewolves do. These however are not the 8-foot tall beastly wolves of terror with throbbing knots for furries to drool over - they are the result of bestial*ty, from the people who gave the world swine flu.

1 Traditional Werewolves
2 Real Werewolves
- 2.1 Discrimination
- 2.2 The Curse
3 Videos
4 Gallery
- 4.1 Were-cat?
5 See Also
6 External Links

Traditional Werewolves

Everything You Know about Werewolves Is Wrong

Hairy Scary? Not at all, also all the extra-human strength and shape shifting under full moons is just plain nonsense. Werewolves are just disgustingly hairy creatures that can not get laid and merely have been reduced to sh*tty tween pseudo-romance novels and/or Little Red Riding Hood. Werewolves don't eat flesh and actually love cheese this is a fact! But because of popular culture, werewolves are portrayed in the worst light. Here are some examples of tasteless movies made by furry-haters. Do not watch this distasteful crap this Halloween.

The Wolfman (1941)
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
The Howling (1981)
Silver Bullet (1985)
Wolf (1994)
Bad Moon (1996)
Ginger Snaps (2000) -- In this movie we learn you don't have to be scritched by a werewolf to get the disease, merely having sex with one will work.
Dog Soldiers (2002)
Underworld (2003)
Cursed (2005)
Blood and Chocolate (2007)

Real Werewolves

"Larry" and Gabriel "Danny" Ramos Gomez-Larry & Danny are werewolf brothers from Mexico and great acrobats and trapeze artists! If that isn't enough to catch your interest these creatures love going to the movies, eating meat and playing with children.

Yu Zhenhuan is one of the many leading figures of the movement. Furries all over the world are going mad for Yu. Not only has he made himself public to the world but has even started his own band. The rock star said "I had always wanted to sing but never thought that the world would accept me until I saw gay marriages happening in the United States. After seeing that, well anything is possible amiright?"

Discrimination

The idea of trying to model yourself to suit humans has always been a severe issue for werewolves. Being commonly told such things as "you're not complete because your not like all the others" has caused many to have symptoms of low self esteem for centuries among other emotional problems.

It wasn't until last Thursday werewolves all over the world decided to stand up and say for the first "It's time to put our hearts to the test and show ourselves to mankind. They will accept us, for us." So let us all put werewolf discrimination to rest and worry about other problems like towel heads. Reform movements all around the world aimed at outlawing discrimination against werewolves are taking place. Over 9000 werewolves have been seen since the revolution began and many more are expected. Emos and furries alike are joining hands in celebration over the legal right to have intercourse with a werewolf. Internet meeting groups of this type are growing exponentially. See for yourself link here http://werewolf.meetup.com/

The Curse

Werewolves like all furfa*gs are cursed by God for their fur-f*cking waves - so naturally science tries to come to the rescue.

A viral disease that causes encephalitis. This is the AIDS of bestial*ty, the practice of sex between humans and animals has a 72% chance of creating a were-freak. This type of behavior among furries has always been popular especially in Russia and all those other countries no one knows the names of.

Scientists have made a hair-raising finding, the virus that makes the creatures we call werewolves so freaking hairy maybe curable."This disease may cause abnormal amounts of hair to sprout across a creature's face and body at birth" Says some mad scientist in Ohio. It will only be a few more years until we can make the curse reversible!

Werewolves are real creatures they just unfortunately have the ability to disguise themselves as large hairballs. Still they have feelings.

“	Hath not a Werewolf eyes? hath not a Werewolf hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Atheist is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Werewolf wrong a Atheist, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Atheist wrong a Werewolf, what should his sufferance be by Atheist example? Why, revenge. The villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.	„
—A furfa*g lurking on IRC.